Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The Big Catch

July 1st in the hockey world, is like the first day of fishing season.

It's the day when players whose contracts have expired are released like salmon from a hatchery into the open stream that is the NHL Free Agency market.

The players swim quickly out of the hatchery and down the stream with dreams of dollar signs and Stanley Cups dancing through their heads.

Awaiting them on the shores of the river ahead are fisherman (NHL General Managers) who have their lines cast into the open water hoping to get a bite.

While some fishermen are looking to land the newest, shiniest, biggest fish in the river, others are looking to recapture their own fish who they have accidentally let out into the water.

The latter is a perfect example of Vancouver Canucks General Manager Mike Gillis, and the potential situation ahead of him if Swedish Twins Daniel and Henrik Sedin decide to jump out of Gillis' bucket on the shore, and into the cool, clear, and open waters of free agency.

On the far shore from Gillis, sitting in the shade in his camping chair with a fishing hat pulled down over his eyes and a constant scowl on his face, is Leafs Head Fisherman Brian Burke. Burke falls into the former category of a GM trying to make a "splash" with his latest catch from the river.

As Burke looks across the river at Gillis, whose sweaty brow and red face indicate that his fish are about to jump, a very very very small smile appears at the corners of Burke's mouth.

Burke quickly steps out into the sunlight, revealing himself from the shade, at the exact same moment that Henrik-Fish and Daniel-Fish make their move, leaping from Gillis' shoreside fish bucket.

At the same moment, Burke casts his line right out into the middle of the stream, with a tantalizing worm dangling from the end of his hook, drawing Daniel-Fish and Henrik-Fish to it.

Gillis watches helplessly from the opposite shore as all sorts of thoughts run through his head.

"If only I had fed those fish just a little more, maybe they wouldn't have left my bucket."

Gillis is at a loss, his two prize fish have departed for more open waters, and his big shiny fish that he had hoped to land was stolen from the hatchery by his nemesis Darryl Sutter just a day before!

Just as Gillis turns glumly to the shore, his head hanging dejectedly, he catches some movement in the water below out of the corner of his eye.

One lone fish comes slowly down the stream, swimming away from the rest of the group.

He is beleagured by a broken left fin, but is swimming as hard as he can, determined to be caught by a fisherman.

Gillis looks down on this sad site in front of him and feels pity in his heart.

"Oh it's okay Marian Gaborik-Fish, i'll catch you. In fact, maybe you can replace Henrik and Daniel-Fish!"

As Gillis turns towards the shore, his new catch swimming happily in his bucket, he hears a low chuckle from across the river in the shade.

"Good luck catching Roberto-Fish next year if the only thing you bring home to your tank is that pathetic excuse of a catch, that is if you're still a fisherman by then. I'll be waiting in the same place at the same time next year."